Rugby is a rough sport. After playing several college seasons in the scrum, I left with a broken arm, several broken ribs, and nagging injuries that have come back to haunt me. Rarely does a rugger go through a season entirely unscathed regardless the position. However, in this brutal and grueling sport of rucks, mauls, and tackles, there are two precious words said on the rugby pitch that can bring a rugger peace in an instant: “With You”.
In rugby, you can carry the ball forward, but you must pass it backward. This action creates vulnerable blind spots as players run toward the opposition, with potential to be tackled. This means that a ballcarrier may have no idea where her teammates are positioned, or if she is supported. That is, until the magical words “With You” are heard, a short phrase with a powerful punch. “With You” means your teammate is in a supporting position, either as an option to pass to get around the tackler, or they’re willing to put their body on the line to back you up if you’re tackled.
I haven’t played rugby in quite some time, except for a couple of alumni matches over a decade ago. Yet, I still remember how clearly “With You” made me feel when I played. It meant that I had people looking out for me, protecting me from harm. “With You” was a safe space of support, a reassurance I was not alone. “With You” is beneficial among friends I haven’t seen in years. Just knowing they are there, and I can reach out to them at any time provides sanctuary.
As I get older, I realize even more how much we need “With You” people our lives. There are many obstacles, and trouble spots we can encounter when we advance toward our goals. Cultivating a culture of “With You” can help us avoid collision (or go through it together) and remind us we are not alone. “With You” people are looking out for us, providing support, and protecting us from harm. It’s also critical to note we need to bestow this safety for others and share we are “With You”– any moment, any time, any instant.
Just like in rugby, you never truly know when a collision will occur, when you need support. I encourage you to enlist “With You” people into your life. Because just like in rugby, those two words can be the difference between safety and success, or a trip to the hospital.
Special Note: The image includes two close rugger “With You” friends I played with in college. Becky Bliley (left) was a second-row player with me and Lara (Grove) Zuleger (right) was my prop. I’ll share more about the “tight five” in a future KerryOn.
KerryOn Questions
- What does “With You” mean to you?
- Who are the “With You” people you can enlist in your life?
- How can you create a safe space of support for others who are “With You”?
The Kerry behind KerryOn
My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!
To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.
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