KerryOn: Circle Connection

I recently completed my fiftieth year of life, the first half of a century, five decades, the big 5 – 0. I hadn’t thought about it before this significant birthday, but each decade has presented a new growth spurt for me. I realized over the years, new people have arrived in my life and have been involved in experiences with me that I really value.

When my husband asked me how I wanted to celebrate this significant birthday, my immediate response was “not a party”. I was already feeling somewhat vulnerable after getting tons of feedback, reviews and comments during the previous 12 months with the publication of my book, and promotion to full professor. I had put myself out there a lot during the previous year, and I was simply exhausted from the amount of exposure I had put myself through. The idea of a party just didn’t seem appealing at that point. Despite my disinterest in a single gathering, I was still very keen to connect with people who were (and are) important to me.

Instead of having one big party, I resolved to have many small, but very meaningful, little parties. I decided to spend the entire year connecting with people I cared about on a personal level. I wanted a space with each of them individually, even if only for a few minutes, in which we could share a special moment together. I created an activity that I call Circle Connection.

Why “Circle Connection”?

When I was a kid, I learned about the circle of safety while camping. It was a circle space around a campfire where you would have a safe proximity from harm. The metaphor transcends beautifully to everyday life; in difficult times, you may may be surrounded by loved ones with a circle of support, those people, friends and family you can rely on. The ones you can call day or night, whenever you need them. That’s your circle of safety.

The people I identified to be involved in a Circle Connection are important from all areas of my life. It took a year because some of these folks were across the country, and across the world. Plus, it was a perfect way to keep the celebration going!

When I met with a Circle Connection, I started with the explanation, the purpose of why we were meeting. I then asked them to choose one of the 3” circular pieces of paper I presented, which were in all colors of the rainbow. I took a circle of the same color. On these circular pieces of paper, we both wrote a response to two prompts. On one side of the circle, we would write what we valued about each other. On the other side of the circle, we wrote about a special moment we shared.

Once we finished writing, the Circle Connection and I shared what we wrote. This was always a special time together. It’s one thing to write down our thoughts, it’s another to verbally share them with someone to highlight the importance of a relationship. There were times when the special moments were exactly the same and brought us right back to the time and place! We then exchanged our circles, a keepsake for both of us and remembrance of friendship.

I have known some of the Circle Connections most of my life, others I met around college, and some are newer in my life. Regardless of how long we have known each other, to share what we value about someone means we have made an impact, and it’s a wonderful feeling when you can share this with that person.

In this world, relationships are constantly shifting. Over time, some people become closer, and some drift away. Who knows who will be in my Circle Connection in the next decade? But right now, I know I’m incredibly grateful to have all of these amazing people in my life.

Take the time to conduct your own Circle Connection activity. It’s important to share before it’s too late.

How to complete a Circle Connection

- Identify the Circle Connection people in your life. Schedule time with them (bring along a circle or any paper will work).

- On one side of the circle, write what you value about them.

- On the other side of the circle, write a special moment you had with them.

- Share these out loud and swap your circles.

The Kerry behind KerryOn

My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!

To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.