KerryOn: Invisible Fences

The summer before I went to college, I spent time with my dad rebuilding a fence. Our hobby farm had miles of electric fences surrounding our acreage and partitioning off various pastures for the protection of the livestock. The fence me and my dad rebuilt, however, was different. This one served more as a decoration and safeguard for the garden from deer. It was the only project we did together that was just the two of us, and I realize now what an important time that was for both of us.

That fence project became almost like a metaphor to my then 17-year-old self, as I prepared for the next phase of life. It represented the protection and safety of the childhood home I would soon be leaving to explore the unknown. Shortly after my dad and I finished the fence, summer was over. We packed up the truck, and I moved away to college.

Regardless the type of fence, there are always two sides. One side offers protection; it keeps threats at bay. The other side offers safety; it keeps the inside intact.

We all have fences within us. These invisible fences can be picket, barbwire, brick, or whatever material is necessary to protect us, to keep us safe. We could have had our fences up so long we forgot the reason they were built in the first place. The question is: are they serving us in the same capacity as when they were built? Perhaps the invisible fences have become barriers keeping us away from opportunities.

I know in uncertain times I sometimes build a solid fence around me. It secludes me, and removes me from harm. I use this barrier to protect my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It keeps others away and provides the illusion of safety. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m surrounded by a fence until I’m backed up against it.

For me, breaking down and living without fences has more positives then negatives. To live without fences reduces my solitude, but it allows me to explore the world. To live without fences makes me vulnerable to mistakes, but it also helps me find my own path. To live without fences provides the freedom to grow. Just like when I drove out of the gate of my childhood farm all those years ago, I needed to leave the comfort of home to find my place in the world. A fence may provide a feeling of security, but it can also confine. It restricts forward movement by design.   

While my husband and I don’t have fences around our property, we have a safe space surrounded by acres of woods. We created it for our kids to grow up and venture without fear that the outside world would encroach upon them. Thirty-three years after I rebuilt the fence with my dad, I’m in the same situation with my youngest child. I’m preparing for him to leave home for college and the next phase of life. As I watched him pack up the last of his boxes, and I mindlessly walked through the other two empty bedrooms – our children already settled at college – I realized we’ve successfully onboarded them to explore the world, to find their own path, to grow. We have already opened the gate of “the fence” to their future. It’s now up to them to keep removing the fences and seek the opportunities available.

Special Note: This is what it looked like when the car was packed, and we left the fence behind as we brought each child to college move-in day and into their bright future ahead. 

KerryOn Questions

- In what ways do you build an invisible fence to protect you, to keep you safe?

- How can you remove the fences so you can explore the world, find your path, and grow?

- What are the opportunities available to you when the invisible fences are removed??

The Kerry behind KerryOn

My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!

To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.