
We are constantly on the brink of change. But we may not always realize it in the moment. More often than not, these changes aren’t grandiose or transformational. They may be small actions, confined to a narrow context; the last time you tucked in your child, the last time you hugged a grandparent, or the last time you spoke to a teacher critical in your educational journey. We don’t think of each action as a last time when they happen, mostly because we may not even be aware. We may be consumed with other thoughts, not even present that it was the last time for an important experience. I am experiencing the brink of change as my three children, spaced less than a year and a half apart, prepare for their next phases in life. I feel it constantly; time is slipping quickly through my fingers like melting ice. It felt like moments ago we were playing tag in the yard and now we are moving them into college dorms. When it first dawned on me that I was experiencing rapid change, I admit I tried to hold on tighter, only to feel the melting hasten. This left me feeling cold and numb.
This numbness began to take away the joy of what we were experiencing as a family in the moment. It was up to me to transition what I considered loss into new beginnings. As a parent, it is critical to remember my role is to help my children change and grow. This reminder has taught me how to live on the brink of change.
To me, living on the brink of change means experiencing it and accepting it simultaneously. Of course, I don’t do this perfectly all the time. There are moments in which I feel – deep in my heart – the loss brought by change: the last “story time” before bed, or the last sandcastle on a sunny beach, or our “family movie night” doesn’t occur as often. I have learned when I feel this loss, to take a moment and pause. I think of all the experiences that took place during those times (good and bad) and appreciate the memory I carry with me. Because if the first change hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have experienced the next change that was coming.
In the end, we don’t know our last time for something. Yet, if we can understand that at all times we live on the brink of change, perhaps we can experience the present moment a bit more completely. We can embrace our loved ones a little tighter, a little longer. We can say the important things to the people we care about. We can make our last time, no matter what it is, matter.

Special Note: When I look at the photo from an earlier KerryOn: Embrace the Seasons and match it to a photo taken with my family for my 50th birthday, Brink of Change truly takes my breath away. Photo design credit: Paris M. FierkeLepp
KerryOn Questions
- When was a time you were on the brink of change?
- How can you experience and accept living on the brink of change?
- What are ways you can make your last time matter?
The Kerry behind KerryOn
My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!
To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.
This resonates so loudly for me. My "last time" talking with my Mom was a wonderful experience and a memory that I treasure deeply. More importantly, I sent her a letter almost 2 years to the day before she passed describing as many of the things that I could try putting into words that I loved about her and appreciated her doing for me. That, among other things gives my heart such a sense of peace about that major change that I was standing much closer to the brink of than I could possibly imagine.
So true! Very cool family photos.
Beautiful Kerry!