KerryOn: Waves of Nostalgia

During my first few weeks of college, my mom and dad came to visit me for “parent’s weekend”. We were walking through the trails by campus when my mom started talking about how her life was different now that she didn’t have children at home. Even our family dog, a German Shorthair named Yoda, had to adjust to the empty nest. Yoda was a loveable puppy. Ever since middle school, he would patiently wait at the top of our driveway for the school bus. When it stopped and he saw me get off, he would run down the hill and meet me at the end of the driveway, tail wagging with excitement.

Once I moved out, my mom noticed that he seemed confused when the bus sped by without even slowing down. She patted him on the head and said, “Oh, honey, the school bus won’t be stopping at this house anymore.” As she shared her experience on our walk around campus, I could see a wave of nostalgia overcome her. I’d like to think that at that moment, I gave her a big hug, but I honestly can’t remember. I’ve thought a lot about that moment with my mom over the years. 

At the time, I thought I understood what she experienced, but I didn’t … until a similar experience happened to me recently. While driving by my kids’ former school, I came across the cross-country runners on the road. I moved over to give them some space as they waved with youthful enthusiasm. For some reason, on this particular day, this interaction brought waves of nostalgia I wasn’t expecting. It brought to mind when my kids were in school, getting in their miles during the cross country and track seasons. The first was of happiness, seeing the smiling faces of the kids and reminiscing when mine would run amongst them when they were on these teams. Then pride thinking of when my children were captains of the teams, encouraging the younger runners and setting a positive example. Then came sadness, realizing these days would no longer exist as my grown children were on to new adventures. The waves of nostalgia didn’t stop there; they kept going from one fleeting moment to the next as I recalled many experiences our family had together during this time – apple walks in the woods, movie and game nights, family fun days, campfires and sauna. The waves of nostalgia felt so overwhelming, like the memories were crashing into me one after another in a way that I felt like I was being pulled underwater. The person who handed me a buoy was my husband, the only person who shared these memories. We talked through the special moments of the past as I laughed and cried, until the waves subsided. 

The definition of nostalgia is a bittersweet emotional state that combines a fond, sentimental longing for the past with a slight sadness or realization that the moment cannot be relived. For me, waves of nostalgia come as happy and sad times and the contradiction confuses my system. I’m not looking to go back to the past; I’ve always been someone who keeps her eyes on what is coming next. I generally don’t dwell; I create. I loved having my family under one roof, and I get even more excited to spend time with them in their new environments. In fact, most of the family activities I mentioned earlier, we still continue to do when we are together.

Yet the waves of nostalgia still have a way of rolling in. Similar to the ones in the ocean, these waves can be enjoyable, but they can be overpowering, pushing me under and tossing me around. What I know for certain, is that I can’t control when the waves happen, they are always unexpected. They can take place listening to a song, being in a certain location, or rise completely out of nowhere. They can transform a rather calm moment into one that knocks me off balance. No matter where or when the waves of nostalgia happen, I am grateful for the disequilibrium. It means I am remembering a moment that matters.

KerryOn Questions

- Have you experienced waves of nostalgia in unexpected ways?

- How do you respond when waves of nostalgia overcome you? 

- What are the moments that matter to you?

The Kerry behind KerryOn

My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!

To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.