KerryOn: Hit Some Trees

When anger strikes, the last thing any of us want to hear is “calm down”. Sometimes, when anger is pulsating through every nerve of my body, I just need to get it out, like a scream that comes from depths of my soul.

When my kids were little, they needed that too. I learned that when they were really angry or upset, especially when they felt like when they had a situation at school that was frustrating or when they felt something was unjust, it was important to take a walk in the woods and hit some trees.

We began our walks, often unable to really name or describe the situation or specific frustration, until we picked up a stick and simply hit trees. Depending on the circumstance, we could scream, shout or cry, yelling about injustices and frustrations until they were excised. Once that feeling of rage and anger was released, only then were we able to discuss what happened. Only then were we able to move forward and talk about the next steps.

I am grateful for those trees.

I walk the woods in their shadows in the early morning and late afternoon. I walk surrounded by them on days of bright sun and days of full clouds. They tower over me with the presence and reassurance of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. They are my companion, and at times, they allow me to use their branches to hit their large trunks and yell.

Most of us haven't been taught how to deal with anger effectively. We're not taught how to release it in a way that's productive. Often times, we are taught how to suppress it, hold it in. We’re supposed to “remain calm” or “let it go”. I struggle with the “let it go” mentality and prefer a “release it” action. Perhaps meditation will cure the pressure boiling within us. Meanwhile the anger eventually boils over into an undeserving innocent bystander. I've been guilty of this on multiple occasions, and usually the loved ones in my life take the brunt of my wrath. My tongue lashes out like a fiery whip when my anger reaches capacity, leaving invisible marks on those around me. I value my relationships with my loved ones and because of this, I am thankful for the service the trees provide.

There are times in my life when I need to hit trees more frequently to get rid of the anger surging, which a brisk walk or strong workout can’t diminish. The antidote is the safe space of the woods with trees who bear witness to the injustices of the world. As I hit the trees, I’m reminded that they have become my savior in the moment. Now more than ever they provide an opportunity for me to express my anger, release it, and move forward.

KerryOn Questions

- How were you taught to express (or not express) your anger and frustration?

- What can you do to express your anger, let go, and move forward?

- What do you do to “hit some trees” when you need a healthy release?

The Kerry behind KerryOn

My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!

To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.