KerryOn: Evolving Vows

FierkeLepp Family, Aruba 2025

Many people begin a life with someone by reciting a vow: a promise to oneself, to another. It’s a commitment of devotion intended for a primary person in your life.

Almost thirty years ago, my husband and I began our family with a vow between the two of us, witnessed by close family and friends. Years later, as our family evolved, we shared a vow with our first child, followed by the next, and the next: to keep each child safe, healthy, and create a loving environment where they could learn and grow. These vows served our family well, as the kids have always been prepared for new adventures, knowing they have our whole-hearted support.

For years we discussed renewing our wedding vows in a way that the kids could be with us to celebrate. Yet, the process or timing never felt quite right. It was during the planning of our most recent family vacation when we realized a “family vow” would be better suited to capture our commitment to each other, and ourselves. Our children are now 18, 19, and 20 years old, so their perspective of the future of our family is as important as ours – perhaps even more so.

Like many, our exchange of vows took place in a beautiful tropical location. We shared our family vows over dinner, watching the sunset on the condo rooftop. Each one of us shared the importance of our family and our commitment to keep each other safe, healthy, and loved. While I wouldn’t be able to cite specifically what each person stated, the essence of the intentions for our family is a commitment to connection. 

As we consider primary people in our lives, whether they are family of origin or family designed, a commitment to connection is important. It can give us the assurance of someone in our corner during good and bad times. This type of vow can be the key to our safe, healthy, and loving environment.

Our family will continue to evolve in the years ahead and as this happens, we will revisit our vows. What I’ve learned from the first vow my husband and I have taken, however, is there’s always been consistency to our devotion. Each day we strive to stay connected; to create a loving environment where we can continue to learn and grow.

Special Note: As our last child ventures to college, it will once again become just the two of us on a daily basis. Our vow to continue to learn and grow becomes even more important than ever before…

KerryOn Questions

- What are the vows you have made throughout your life?

- Have these/could these vows evolve over time to benefit your relationship(s)?

- What type of vow would be your key to a safe, healthy, and loving environment?

The Kerry behind KerryOn

My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!

To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.